Last week I talked about how the best time to collect family stories is today. I know it may seem like too much work and there will always be time next week or next year. There are a hundred reasons not to do it now, but we have to do it while people are still alive to tell the stories. Not only alive, but also have the capacity to remember.
You may think “Oh well she is a trained archivist of course she will know just what to do, what questions to ask, what equipment to use, etc.” And I do now, but I didn’t when I started to document my family’s history through my grandmother’s stories.
So let me tell you a story. I graduated from UC Santa Cruz in June 1996 with a major in Women’s Studies (now Feminist Studies). I had taken a class on Women’s Oral histories with Bettina Aptheker, so I had a basic understanding of how oral histories work. I decided to do some interviews with my grandmother on a visit to Seattle in August. She would turn 79 and had a mind like a steel trap. She could remember dates and details people half her age couldn’t keep straight. I was 22 and full of a 22 year old’s perspective, which is to say not much yet. But I knew recording her stories for a family project later was important. And I loved my grandmother. I loved her stories. I loved her cooking and baking. I loved her strength, kindness and generosity.
My grandmother agreed and we sat down, usually after lunch, at the table and I set up the tape recorder I borrowed from my mother and a microphone. I had a basic knowledge of the big moments in our family history like where my grandparent’s grew up (Upstate New York and Canada), when they got married, had children and moved to Aruba and some of the funny families stories they would tell at the dinner table. I had a loose list of questions but I just really wanted her to talk.
While the interviews were with my grandmother, my grandfather sat in his chair in the living room and would pipe up occasionally. “Tell Mary about the time x happened” and “It was so and so who donated blood.” My grandfather, just on the edge of things, but always connected to my grandmother.
My family has always told stories at meals, especially when several generations were present. Often times it was the same story told with great enthusiasm. So I did a little secret recording during meals to capture impromptu story telling. I would hold the tape recorder on my lap. I always tried to get the blessing before the meal but it was quick and I didn’t want to be obvious. But you do here the sound of the meal, the clink of the dishes and the quiet that comes when people have food on their plate.
At the end of the trip I had about 15 hours of interviews and lunch conversations recorded. I had every intention of transcribing and writing up the stories. But then life happened and I didn’t get back to it. When my grandmother died in October 2010, I thought it would be wonderful to have her voice at the funeral so I hired a friend (with professional equipment) to convert the cassette tapes to a digital format. We didn’t end up using any of the recordings in funeral service, but it was a great impetus to get the files converted.
Conversion is a huge part of keeping digital records. You have to keep up with new formats and technology. You may have saved an old Betamax tape, but if you can’t find someone to convert it to a current format it is as good as lost. And those of us who had cassette tapes know the challenges inherent in that format - unspooling and stretching of the physical tape and warping of the sound quality to name a few.
So I have the converted recordings saved on Dropbox, in my iCloud, and on a separate hard drive. I don’t even want a chance that I lose the digital copies even though I still have the cassette tapes. I would have to purchase a new tape player and who knows what the quality would be now.
For 27 years I have held onto the recordings. I have listened to them over the years and even started transcribing for a potential book. I started marking the start and end time of specific stories so I could make a film of some kind. I play them when I miss my grandmother. I always think hearing her voice will make me sad, but I find a deep comfort in it.
The part of me that feels the need to be productive and “do something” with all the stories and recordings can not believe 27 years have gone by. I worry that I have wasted almost 3 decades. But the part of me that loves and misses my grandmother is grateful every time I click play and get to hear her voice and wisdom. The are stories she told me that mean so much more to me now in my late 40s than they did in my early 20s. I was just finding my way in my 20s and learning about life as a young person. I will be 50 in June (I am so excited! No really, I can’t wait) and these recordings make me feel like I can still look to my grandmother for advice. She is still guiding and supporting me. And if that is the only thing I ever do with these recording that will be enough.
My daughter's book is completely dependent on letters, recordings, and family interviews. Maybe her format would give you an idea of how to proceed. Last I saw your work you were fictionalizing their story. Maybe memoir would be the way to go instead!
Well, you brought tears to my eyes with that last paragraph, youngest daughter, keeper of memories. Do not stop collecting.